il caso non esiste

Im not going down on my knees,
Begging you to adore me
Cant you see its misery
And torture for me
When Im misunderstood
Try as hard as you can,
Ive tried as hard as I could
To make you see
How important it is for me

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me

Some people have to be
Permanently together
Lovers devoted to
Each other forever
Now Ive got things to do
And Ive said before
that I know you have too
When Im not there
In spirit Ill be there

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me

e la radio che fa?

Everything's so blurry

and everyone's so fake

and everybody's empty

and everything is so messed up

pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone

you could be my scene

you know that i'll protect you

from all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing

imagine where you are

there's oceans in between us

but that's not very far

Can you take it all away

can you take it all away

well you shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away

can you take it all away

well you shoved it my face

Everyone is changing

there's noone left that's real

to make up your own ending

and let me know just how you feel

cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone

you could be my scene

you know that i will save you

from all of the unclean

I wonder what you're doing

I wonder where you are

There's oceans in between usbut that's not very far

[Chorus]

Nobody told me what you thought

nobody told me what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

told you when to runaway

nobody told you where to hide

nobody told you what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

showed you when to runaway

[Chorus]

This pain you gave to me

You take it all

You take it all away...

This pain you gave to me

You take it all away

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

di sprazzi d'estate e pensieri sparsi

ieri sera indossavo giacca di neoprene maglioncino smanicato.. oggi sono uscita in canotta ed occhiale da sole.. Caldo
Irene Grandi arriva da chissà dove, sorrido ricordando il riposino pre-serale lignanese con TV sintonizzata su canale che trasmette video vari.
E' ancora estate dentro questi quattro muri, ed avrei tante cose da dire/fare/baciare/lettera (per il testamento vale la regola del procrastinare); per fare spazio in una soffitta si deve trovare prima di tutto un buco libero da riempire movimentando il resto della roba.. delirio? no, solo senso pratico e testo criptico.. che non è nemmeno criptico, basta saper leggere.
Non divago, il punto è che prima o poi dovrò iniziare.
Il sole entra dall'oblò della mia soffitta, SO che ci sono tante cose da buttare, li dentro, c'è da pulire, togliere ragnatele e polvere, disinfettare. Irene Grandi mi fa ancora compagnia..

[...]

E tutti quei ragazzi come te
non hanno niente come te
io vorrei darmi da fare
forse essere migliore

farti scudo col mio cuore
da catastrofi e paure
io non ho niente da fare
questo e quello che so fare


[...]

continuerò a sorridere, mentre c'è uno sprazzo d'estate e pian piano riprendo in mano cose che avevo accantonato 7 anni fa.. stanotte ho iniziato da qui.

Appurato che il caso non esiste.. per la n volta mi sorprendo a cercare di capire i fin troppo affascinanti meccanismi mental-onirico-nonmelosospiegare
Capita che il mese scorso abbia sognato una persona che non vedevo da un tot, e la cosa mi ha shockata un po'.. passa il tempo, mi riprometto di fare una capatina nel locale dove lavora (e dove non entro da, per l'appunto, almeno 7 anni) per accertarmi che stia bene; cosa che non riesco a portare a buon fine fino a ieri sera.
Capita che abbia sognato nuovamente lo stesso soggetto, a questo punto il livello di attenzione attiva i radar/sonar/qualsiasicosa. Mi butto in una giornata fitta di commissioni da sbrigare (acquisto di pumps pro matrimonio compreso.. sì, avete letto bene, pumps. Quelle cose bellerrime da pinup anni '50, roba da amore a prima vista insomma.. sto divagando?)
cena con amichetti, e poi verso il locale in cui lavora questo tizio.. per strada mi chiedo se riuscirà a capire chi sono (capelli a fiammifero e 50 kg in meno? parliamone); entro, saluto il titolare e vado diretta al suo bar.
Si sente osservato, mi guarda, dopo 20 secondi sorride tanto che per un attimo temo gli si scoperchi il capo..
la tua ultima sera qui? O.o
ah.. il mese scorso sei stato malemalissimo? o.O
fermo.. so già tutto.. no, non me l'ha detto qualcuno che ti ha visto..

mi fa promettere di sentirci presto e mi abbraccia forteforte.. *come se* mi avesse chiamata? *come se* dovessi arrivare in tempo?

rientro verso casa con sorriso idiota incorporato.. ogni tot minuti mi esce un "non ci posso credere"

Forse ha ragione chi dice che dovrei smettere di cercare d'essere normale..
[e tu.. non so se leggi, e se lo fai.. son sempre qui che incrocio le dita]

bkgnd: Ligabue - Cosa vuoi che sia

Say it Right

In the day
In the night
Say it right
Say it all
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonight you tonight

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

From my hands I could give you
Something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?

1 day off

l'unico giorno di mare

giro di perlustrazione a salutare un po' di visi amici, pranzo con un'insalata di polipo a cui sono addicted ^____^
passeggio verso la spiaggia; sole splendido, vento, bagnetti ristoratori
pensiero lontano tante miglia.. sorrisi
aperitivo a piedi immersi nella sabbia mentre tramonta il sole
risate, tante.... "finiamo l'Americano e poi vieni a pucciare i piedi con me, sì?"
occhi come quelli dei bimbi, sempre affamati di un mare che non mi stanca mai
sorrido e dico un pugno di parole che so non verranno fraintese.
mangiare junkfood e ridere alle lacrime
passeggiata, pisolo in albergo, corro all'appuntamento accompagnata da faccia colpevole (la mia) per il ritardo
Fiumi di alcool, risate e niente compromissioni
Becco la serata house ed i pensieri rimbalzano lontano lontano.. sorrido, son sicura che all'inutile figuro sarebbe piaciuto tanto, qui, oggi..
"lilla, oggi è stata una giornata bellissima, e stanotte non fa per niente freddo.. hai portato il bel tempo da casa?"
chiacchiere al parco per finire in bellezza la notte
Un abbraccio che ogni volta suona più sincero "ci vediamo presto"

Tre ore per tornare a casa, il cielo carico di pioggia
L'unica cosa che chiedo.. la prossima volta che vorrò andare a Lignano, ricordatemi di noleggiare un elicottero.

Stay - Elisa
Umbrella - Rhianna
Bruci la città - Irene Grandi
When u're gone - Avril Lavigne

[...]

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together

Told you I'll be here forever

Said I'll always be a friend

Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end

Now that it's raining more than ever

Know that we'll still have each other

You can stand under my umbrella
[...]

raggiungendo il manicomio

giorni di lunazza.. e poi arriva questa, a sorpresa
giusto perché non sono abbastanza confusa, stanca.. tutto il resto
da lassù mi amano -___-

Want to but I can't help it.
I love the way it feels.
This got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real.
I need it when I want it.
I want it when I don't.
Tell myself I'd stop everyday,
Knowing that I won't

I've got a problem and I..
Even if I did, I don't know if i would quit
But I doubt it. I'm,
Taken by the thought of it..

And I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction.
I'm so strung out on you
I can barely move...but I like it,


So, then it's all because of you
So, then it's all because of you
And it's all because of you
So, then it's all because...
Never get enough,
She's the sweetest drug.


Think of it every second,
I can't get nothing done.
Only concern is the next time, I'm 'gon get me some.
Know I should stay away from,
Cause it's no good for me.
I try and try but my obsession, won't let me leave.


I've got a problem and I (don't know what to do about it)
Even if I did I don't know if i would quit
But I doubt it. I'm,

Taken by the thought of it.

And I know this much is true,
Baby, you have become my addiction.
I'm so strung out on you,
I can barely move...but I like it,


So, then it's all because of you
So, then it's all because of you
And it's all because of you
So, then it's all because...
Never get enough
She's the sweetest drug.


Ain't no doubt....
So strung out.
Ain't no doubt....
So strung out.
Over you,


And I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction
I'm so strung out on you,
I can barely move...but I like it


So, then it's all because of you
So, then it's all because of you
And it's all because of you
So, then it's all because...
Never get enough
She's the sweetest drug,

...She's the sweetest drug...

bkgnd: Ne-Yo: Because of You

link alla versione piano solo

something confusing..

episodi accavallati, uno all'altro.. non ho il tempo per assimilare parole perché ne arrivano di nuove, inaspettate.

in verità non so cosa aspettarmi, tutto quello che sta accadendo non era contemplato..



nel frattempo spengo le luci, mi butto a letto ed ascolto questa:



Hey girl, is it cool if I'm honest

Just hold on, you know that it's hard for me

To say things, things that I promised

And do things that I never thought I'd do



What kinda man's not there when you're crying

What kinda man don't care if he's lying

Now I understand who could be that kind of man

That's me, and I must be crazy



I must be crazy for not taking care of you

And I must be crazy, now I'm feeling like a fool

Cuz you were my baby and I was yours, too

It's starting to break me cuz now baby I see

You were right when you said

I must be crazy, yeah



You told me we had a problem

Your girls said you deserve better than me

And they was right, I can't believe it

I've gotta ask myself why



What kinda man's not there when you're crying

What kinda man don't care if he's lying

Now I understand who could be that kind of man

And that's me, I'm so sorry



I must be crazy for not taking care of you

And I must be crazy, now I'm feeling like a fool

Cuz you were my baby and I was yours, too

It's starting to break me cuz now baby I see

You were right when you said

I must be crazy, yeah



I should have known and had an understanding

(Of what a woman needs)

This time I'll be there right

I'll tell you every night

I can't live without you, oh

This time you have my all

Give my full attention babe

And I won't go out searchin', babe



Now I know what a fool could do

(Babe, let me prove it)

All I need

The chance from you

No no no

Don't take this the wrong way baby

(No no no)

I'm not tryna justify what I did

But now I just gotta ask you something now

What kinda woman would you be

If you didn't give a second chance

To a man like me

What kinda woman would you be

If you turned your back on me on my knees

Cuz I deserve a second chance

To be the one you call your man

I'm doing everything I can so girl

Don't you be crazy, yeah



I must be crazy for not taking care of you

And I must be crazy, now I'm feeling like a fool

Cuz you were my baby and I was yours, too

It's starting to break me cuz now baby I see

You were right when you said

I must be crazy, yeah



(Lovin' you the way you wanna be loved

(I must be crazy, yeah)

What have I got myself into mama, mama, mama

(I must be crazy, yeah)

I was so selfish, ooh)



Tyrese - I must be crazy

.:for a friend:.

I never cried the way I cried over you,

As I put down the telephone and the world it carried on.

Somewhere else, someone else is crying too,

Another man has lost a friend, I bet he feels the way I do.

And now I'm left without, but you're here within.

As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away,

All the memories of you come rushing back to me.

As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away,

All I want to do is kiss you once goodbye.

Summer comes and I'd remember how we'd march,

We'd march for love and pride, together arm in arm.

Tears have turned, turned to anger and contempt,

I'll never let you down, a battle I have found.

And all the dreams we had, I will carry on.

As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away,

All the memories of you come rushing back to me.

As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away,

All I want to do is kiss you once goodbye, goodbye,

Goodbye, goodbye.

And all the dreams we've had, I will carry on.

As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away,

All the memories of you come rushing back to me.

As I watch the sun go down, and darkness comes to me,

All I want to do is kiss you once goodbye, goodbye,

Goodbye, goodbye.



[Jimmy Sommerville]



ecco.. la possibilità di poterti salutare non l'ho avuta.. però ti penso sempre, e spero che prima o poi ci rivedremo per portare avanti tutte le cose che dovevamo fare..

Que Hiciste

mai testo fu più veritiero in questo periodo... qui il video


Ayer los dos soñabamos con un mundo perfecto,
Ayer a nuestros labios les sobraban las palabras,
Porque en los ojos nos espiábamos el alma,
Y la verdad no vacilaba en tu mirada.

Ayer nos prometimos conquistar el mundo entero,
Ayer tú me juraste que este amor sería eterno,
Porque una vez equivocarse es suficiente,
Para aprender lo que es amar sinceramente.

Qué hiciste? Hoy destruíste con tu orgullo la esperanza,
Hoy empañaste con tu furia mi mirada,
Borraste toda nuestra historia con tu rabia,
Y confundiste tanto amor que te entregaba,
Con un permiso para así romperme el alma.

Qué hiciste? Nos obligaste a destruir las madrugadas,
Y nuestras noches las borraron tus palabras,
Mis ilusiones acabaron con tus farsas,
Se te olvidó que era el amor lo que importaba,
Y con tus manos derrumbaste nuestra casa.

Mañana que amanezca un día nuevo en mi universo,
Mañana no veré tu nombre escrito entre mis versos,
No escucharé palabras de arrepentimiento,
Ignoraré sin pena tu remordimiento.

Mañana olvidaré que ayer yo fui tu fiel amante,
Mañana ni siquiera habrá razones para odiarte,
Yo borraré todos tus sueños de mis sueños,
Que el viento arrastre para siempre tus recuerdos.

Qué hiciste? Nos obligaste a destruir las madrugadas,
Y nuestras noches las borraron tus palabras,
Mis ilusiones acabaron con tus farsas,
Se te olvidó que era el amor lo que importaba,
Y con tus manos derrumbaste nuestra casa.

Y confundiste tanto amor que te entregaba,
Con un permiso para así romperme el alma.

Qué hiciste? Nos obligaste a destruir las madrugadas,
Y nuestras noches las borraron tus palabras,
Mis ilusiones acabaron con tus farsas,
Se te olvidó que era el amor lo que importaba,
Y con tus manos derrumbaste nuestra casa.

Prince - Purple Rain

Qualcuno disse che questa è la canzone d'amore più struggente che sia mai stata composta/cantata

e se dopo *ventiquattro* anni mi commuove ancora.. ci sarà di sicuro un porco perché :)


I never meant 2 cause u any sorrow
I never meant 2 cause u any pain
I only wanted 2 one time see u laughing
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain

I only wanted 2 see u bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted 2 be your weekend lover
I only wanted 2 be some kind of friend
Baby I could never steal u from another
Its such a shame our friendship had 2 end

Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain

I only wanted 2 see u underneath the purple rain

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
Its time we all reach out 4 something new
That means u 2
U say u want a leader
But u cant seem 2 make up your mind
I think u better close it
And let me guide u 2 the purple rain

Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain

If you know what Im singing about up here
Cmon raise your hand

Purple rain purple rain

I only want 2 see u, only want 2 see u
In the purple rain

Omarion - Ice box

Fussin' and fightin', we back at it again
I know that, its my fault, but you don't understand (no)
I got memories, this is crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
Good with ma, good with pa, cool with all my niggas
I should try to decide, wanna let u in, but no
That means memories, and its crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know

[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
Its no excuse, no excuse
I got this

[Chorus 2x]
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold

Why cant I get it right, just cant let it go
I opened up, she let me down, I wont feel that no more
I got memories, this is crazy
She ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
I don't mean to take it out on you baby but I cant help it
Cause my heart is in the same ol' condition that baby left it
And I, I apologize, for makin' you cry
Look me in my eye and promise you won't do me the same

[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
Its no excuse, no excuse
I got this

[Chorus 2x]
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold

I don't wanna be stuck up in this cold cold world
Don't wanna mess this up better keep your eye on me girl [3x]

[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
Its no excuse, no excuse
I got this

I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold

Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'